So I do realise it has been a while since I’ve last put up a review. Between exams at the beginning of March and the laziness that accompanies the beginning of spring break, I haven’t been reading much. And accordingly, I had nothing to review. I did finish reading Wuthering Heights the same day I finished my exams, which was also the day I traveled with Mum so we can drop off half of my college things and see my grandma. And ever since I arrived here, I’ve been doing nothing other than taking long walks with my brother and sleeping to avoid the cold weather. It’s hardly spring here at all. All the trees are still bare, and the temperature hovers about 7 C at night, which makes it hard to have any sort of entertainment.
Above all of that, I began to doubt my abilities to review classics, which I read often. I began to question the point of attempting to review books that are professionally dissected on a yearly basis and on so many different academic levels in literature classes. I wondered whether I’d, at all, say anything that hasn’t been said. And it took me till today to remind myself of why I’m doing this to begin with. I’m chronicling my reading journey –my first attempt at a reading challenge. And I don’t have to profoundly analyse a novel as much as I need to just note down my feelings regarding it and its characters and content, and most importantly, its effect on me. I need this to be something I can reference the next time I read one of the books I reviewed, and I can see the difference between the two times.
I give up on things a lot. Around the end of 2011, I joined a writing community, and just around the time I began to be a significant member, the activity lost its allure because I began to doubt myself. I still have several MS documents and unforgettable endless NanoWriMo nights. I look at my Grandma’s desktop and I remember my despair at the fact that I lost my laptop’s comma. And my defective charger. And the importance of finding a replacement that I can hunch myself over for hours and hours so that I can write something worthwhile. And how I achieved it despite the desktop’s stiff keyboard.
Dedication is key, and my fickleness has always been an obstacle. I don’t want to give up on this yet, at least not until I’ve reached my goal. So I’ll try to do so. And hopefully, by this time tomorrow, I’ll have a bit of a review for Wuthering Heights because this book gave me so many feelings and so many thoughts, and I think I’m finally capable of arranging my thoughts about it.
So yeah… I just needed to get this out the best way I could. And it may not be coherent, but writing has always been my method of self-expression. This is a little something I had to do for myself so I can keep on going.